I'm having a very hard time being creative lately. I have a swap due on the 2oth, that I really need to get started on, but all I really want to do is lie on my couch and watch movies.
I had a really long post planned out, but now I don't remember it that well, so this may be a little choppy.
I've noticed lately that I'm not really happy unless I'm working, hanging out with friends, hanging out with my boyfriend, or garage saleing. I know I've spent so much more money this summer going to garage sales, but I find myself looking forward to them each week, and being pretty bummed out, if there aren't any in my neighborhood, it's not so much what I spend, but I've found it's so much fun, just going around and looking, the thrill of the hunt, I guess. I think one thing that would make it more fun (I know this actually), is to have someone to go with. There have been a couple times this summer where I went with a friend (who lives about 45 min away, so that doesn't happen very much), or my boyfriend (who works 7 days a week, 12 hr night shifts, so unless he's not majorly tired on Sat mornings, that doesn't happen either), go with me, and it's been so much more fun sharing the experience with someone, especially someone who knows what I'm interested in.
I went to some antique shops with my mom this summer, and it is definitely not more fun with her, I found myself waiting on her, and it seems she doesn't really know what I'm into anymore, or she wouldn't find it cute when I buy something just because it's neat.
I honestly wish I had more close friends to hang out with. I don't have a lot of those, I have my friend, Loretta, who lives 45 minutes away, so it's not very efficient for her to come and hang out all the time, I have my boyfriend, who works way too much, and pretty much sleeps on all his off time, and I have a friend who lives about 40 minutes away and works full-time during the day, so also not efficient for her to come hang out.
I've tried somewhat suggesting to people at my library job that we hang out, but it's almost like people don't want to hang out outside of work.
I lost my store job just last week, she finally closed up, so I now I have my evenings free, which is very strange, after working there for about 2 years?. But that also means, I need to find another job to fill in the time and the money I'll be missing. And that thoroughly depresses me, I've gone through this process so many times already.
I just bought some stuff online, that I really shouldn't have bought, but I found out about them last week and bought some in a store and they make me feel really good, so I decided the personal investment would be worth it (we'll see how I feel when I get the credit card bill at the end of the month).
I have plenty of time to create, I just can't get motivated to do it. I have decided I will jump in my craft closet tomorrow, because like I said I have a swap due on the 20th, that means, it better be in the mail by Fri. I think part of my reason is, that my closet it so messy and there's not a lot of space in there. I do have a space cleared out for my tiny table (probably about 3 ft by 2 ft), but it's only big enough to shove the table back in when I'm done, so I don't have to fold it up again.
I'm in a funk, I really wish I had something exciting to do, or someone exciting to hang out with, or something really interesting to eat.
I'm looking forward to next weekend, Fri, I'm hanging out with a friend, there's an antique show that my mother promised we'd go to (though I wouldn't be surprised if she says at the last minute she's too busy) on Sat, and on Sun, our local art center is having their annual art festival, which my mother, my aunt and I are planning to go to.
I'm worried I might be a little too excited for it, and be let down, again. On my birthday in July, my mother and I took a day trip to a town about an hour away from here to shop and eat at a tea room. I was really excited. The day started out with my mother not following the directions we were given, so she got a little lost and then very panicky which in turn put me in a bad mood, then I couldn't find anything to buy, and the stores weren't that exciting, and the food at the tea room wasn't that great either.
I don't think it helped that I didn't get any actual presents for my birthday, well, not any material things. My mom took me on our trip and bought my lunch (though I think that was kinda her birthday present also, as hers is the day after mine), my parents were supposed to get me a new mattress, but my mom decided she was too tired to go mattress shopping after our day out (haven't seen a new mattress or any present from them since), and my boyfriend took me to a car show, which was great, but sometimes you want something you can hold in your hand, my brother did send me a nice gift certificate for Amazon, and I have been slowly spending it (which is new for me, I generally spend those things fast), but since I only have so much, it's hard to pick out what I want to spend it on. I did buy a few craft books on a spur of the moment one day, but that was disappointing as I don't really look at craft books, they're good books, but I don't look at craft books.
I don't know what will get me out of my funk, but I just wanted to let everyone know what was going on.
I had plans to work on my swap last night, take pictures and post for What's On Your Workdesk Wednesday today, but didn't feel like it last night, and didn't realize it was Wed until about 10 this morning, and by that time I knew I'd be somewhere in the later hundred's if I participated, and it seems less and less people visit them all. Which I know is hard when there's that many, I don't get to a lot of them any more either.
Guess I better sign off as I have to get up to go to work in the morning
WAYLON JENNINGS Lonesome On'ry And Mean
5 hours ago